PARENTING TEENAGE GIRLS
years for girls today are a period of real danger. Girls entering
puberty often face a "crisis in confidence" which makes them
vulnerable to risky behavior, and these bad choices can have
devastating lifelong consequences. What's perhaps even worse
than the dangerous opportunities teen girls are at risk for
is the fact that most of them will not talk to their parents
about these dangers they face. No matter how good your communication
is with your daughter, there are things she will not and cannot
tell you, things she needs desperately to tell someone. The
answer to this problem is being your daughter's best friend.
One of the most rewarding relationships is when a mother steps
forward to mentor her daughter's best friend. Some mothers
"cross-mentor" each other's daughters. Sometimes teenage girls
wont like to discuss their problems with their mother or father.
In such circumstances it is best to provide them with a mentor.
You must point your daughter toward a trustworthy role model
- an aunt, a cousin, a grandmother, a teacher, a friend, or
some other responsible caring woman. The most important thing
a mentor can do is to listen and to lead by example. She isn't
there to judge, punish or condemn. And as crucial as her role
becomes, it is a temporary one - a mentor will never replace
a mother. The mother/daughter bond will remain a dominant
force in your daughter's life for as long as she walks on
this earth. There are however certain problems that your teenage
daughter faces which she might not be comfortable discussing
with you. A few of them are listed below.
mom doesn't care about me." - Girls need emotional
support from their mother more than from anyone else. And
if mother's are busy ignoring their daughters that can be
a serious problem.
myself." - Girls suffer from depression more
than boys do. They are more sensitive and emotional and depression
leads to many problems, which if not taken care of can be
want to kill myself." - From a survey conducted it
was found out that 29% of adolescent girls have thoughts of
suicide. From 1990 to 2000, the rate of suicide among young
girls has increased drastically.
me." - One study found "disturbingly high incidence
of violence," with 32% of girls reporting some form of physical
or sexual abuse either done to them by their father, relative,
husband or boyfriend.
male friend or relative) keeps sexually abusing me."
Most abuse occurs at home, occurs more than once, and
occurs as a result of the actions of a family member or friend
of the family. Girls may have serious reactions of shame,
guilt and self-hatred following these episodes.
smoking for awhile" - Smoking among teenage girls
did something shameful". Teenage girls now a days don't
find it a big deal to lose their virginity and ultimately
end up being pregnant.
are the problems, which your teenage daughter might not discuss
with you out of fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment and self-hatred.
In such circumstances if you feel that your daughter is behaving
strangely or seems disturbed and doesn't want to discuss her
problems with you, you can ask her friend of teacher or any
relative who she is close with, to help you out. Remember
that even if she has done something dreadfully wrong she is
your daughter and you must let her know that you love her
and you are always there for her.
Points to remember
- Be patient with your teenage
daughter. Give her some time to open up.
- Spend time with her. Your daughter
maybe having some hidden talents. Explore and encourage
her to pursue her talents.
- Care for her. It is very important
to tell your daughter that you love her and no matter what
happens you always will love her and care for her.
- Be there when she needs you.
Don't ever give up on her. With your love and support your
daughter can pass all tests of life and can tackle all hurdles
- Be her mentor and friend. A
mother can be the daughter's best friend. Don't let her
be scared of you. Try to strengthen the bond between the
two of you.
- Learn to forgive her but at
the same time be strict when required.