a man who has lost his wife or who is divorced from his first
wife is a tough decision to make. This is a situation where
you are labeled as a "second wife" who necessarily has to
be a Hindi film vamp even if the truth is quite contrary.
Normally being a second wife is a tough job. The case further
complicated if there are children by the man's former marriage.
And still worse, if suchchildren happen to be grown up, with
minds of their own. Thus if you opt to marry a man who is
married once then you have to take many factors in to consideration,
make lots of compromise, be patient and loving and most important
be confident. Once you have taken the plunge then you have
to make the marriage work. Estrangements, misunderstandings,
arguments, bitterness or daily conflicts can prove nightmarish
be the reason behind a second marriage, the onus is mainly
on the second wife to make the marriage click This is because
woman is always considered to be the one to make things work
and only she can improve relationship and give love and compassion
and also teach man the same. This definitely is not going
to be easy but with a little bit of patience and determination
you can make things wonderful for yourself as well as your
are instances of situations that a second wife is most likely to face
and solutions to tackle them:
husband has small children from his first marriage, who
refuse to accept you. This is the most challenging task.
If your husband has no issues from his first marriage,
then consider yourself extremely lucky. Your hindrances
and tensions will be minimized and you can raise a family
at your ease. However if your husband has small children
then still you have a chance and don't be panicky and
try to win them over. Little children crave for affection
and attention. If you are able to provide these elements,
then they will surely accept you. In case you are able
to foster cordial relationships with the children, you
husband will be more than grateful to you. Indirectly
this will improve your mutual relationship too.
your husband has teenager kids then things can be difficult.
In that situation it will be best if you allow your husband
to spend adequate time with them. On you part, do not
be hostile to them. Rather, try to gain their confidence
and help them out if they are in trouble. You might encounter
a certain amount of antagonism and hatred initially. But
gradually they will mellow down and accept you. But that
also depends how much you are willing to compromise and
whether you are ready to accept them.
not try to deprive your stepchildren of their father's
love, company, property and resources. This generally
happens, the moment the second wife has children of her
own. Please don't make this mistake and lose the trust,
respect, love and faith of your husband, children and
others. One thing you should remember and that is never
treat your stepchildren as stepchildren. Love them as
not make any spiteful and unkind remarks about your husband's
former wife, in front of the children. This may hurt them
very deeply. Also do not express any bitterness or malice
against the former wife. It is bound to upset your husband.
If he praises her in a bid to pull your leg, take it calmly.
You will have to reconcile with the idea that at nearly
every step there will be comparisons with the first wife
.So be cool and learn to bear with it. With time it will
thing you have to remember to get your husband's love
and respect is never attempt to prejudice your husband
against the children. Do not report their mistakes or
misbehavior to the father. Try to exercise restraint,
be patient with them. Handle everything on your own without
involving your husband, unless matters threaten to go
out of control. In case your husband is angry with the
children, try to defend them against him. His will not
only impress your husband but will also create love and
trust in the minds of the children.