Marriage & Beyond
Subject : husband unsatisfied...
Question : I had an arranged marriage so didnt really know my husband very well mentally, physically etc. I am around 45Kgs and 5'2" in height, I had heard of men complaining of small breast in women and wanted to be sure he was ok so even asked him directly when we chatted if he was ok with me being small he said yes to everything. But it has been 31/2 yrs now he never gives any foreplay or kisses me (smooch) we do have sex that also I have to come on top and do all the work he just lays there with his hands above his head. It is extremely awkward for me as half the time I am not even aroused just because of his attitude in bed. But i want to keep him happy and do my best so he does not stray. Sometime i feel so dissappointed i just want to leave, but i know it is not that easy. Pl help what might be wrong I know he has had sexual relationships before and it worries me that maybe he is not enjoying sex with me like he did with the other women. Please suggest something i can do to save my marriage and my sanity.
Posted by : Asha
Posted on : 2005-04-15
Reply : I think you should do all these things 1, Beautiful reception-after he returns from work meet him with a cheerful face, beautify and perfume yourself,start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested, receive himwith loving and yearning sentences,make hard efforts for excellence of the food and having it ready on time.2, Beautify and soften the voice-for your husband only3, Smelling good and physical beautification-take good care of your body and fitness,put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes that he likes,bath regularlyand after monthly period remove any blood traces or bad smells,avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape,change hair style perfumes from time to time, exchange loving phrases with your husband,you should not ask your husband for any unnesessary things,encourage him to pray to Jesus-who is the saviour of the world,be always grateful to him then he will love you more and will do the best to please you in more ways,the result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself:Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?4. Please himif he is angry--if you mistaken then apologize,if he mistaken then keep still instead of arguing or wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him3--if he is angry because of external reasons then-keep silent until his anger goes 5,show respect for his family and friends6,Good housekeeping-keep it clean and decorated. I have more to write you but I have to go for an appointment. If you like and is helping you just mail me I will give you more advise. Remember dont always think negatively that he had some other women .... Be positive you can make this marriage work.Make sure you spend more time in prayer and read Bible more often. Read Proverbs chapter 32. Your sister Jolly
From : jolly
On : 2006-01-17
Reply : Hi..Asha, From ur story... I can bet your husband is two timing you...he's surely satisfying his sexual hunger some where else, thats why he's not feeling good with you... May be you are not very good on bed... take care of ur looks, ur night wear, see some porn CD's etc to make him involve in the act. Try to be sexy and forget abt ur height...coz' i have had sex with girls far shorter than you. but they were awesomein bed.. so take care of ur looks, and make ur hubby feel imporatnt... more than you do now.. Ask him straight questions ... so that he knows that you doubt her. You can always talk to to ur husband abt sex and why u do not like it ... Good Sex comes when he is emotionally involved with you... itsall abt love .. physical stuff comes far ty to be ur hubby wants you to be ... and last option... agr kuch na ho ...toh find a fren and enjoy ur life with him ...have sex with him.. and it wont be a sin ..coz' u have only one life and sex is just like water and food to any human being... do stay in touch thru'the same column... besties.. vinny
From : vinny
On : 2005-12-05
Reply : sounds like your husband is an arrogant pompus jerk that treats you like crap.stop being used and get out. hes probably cheating on you anyway.your degrading yourself to try and please someone who will never show you respect.wake up and smell the coffee girlfriend.
From : carol
On : 2005-10-07
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