Love & Romance
Subject : confused
Question : I need some advice I am a white american girl andI am dating a Indian guy the relationship is getting very serious butI have a problem his parents have never met me but they know about me and they already do not likeme I know they will be hesitant when accepting me because I am not Indian but what can I do to make them accept me or just not be so much against our relationship. His parents not liking me is really getting to me because I want them to like me. so please help me what can I do?
Posted by : unknown
Posted on : 2004-09-15
Reply : get to know the indian tradition and practise that when u met them. indian families are close knit families where they care for each other and have some hierarchy. convince them u will be a permanent member in the family and will follow the rules of the tradition. they will love u.
From : advisor
On : 2005-06-03
Reply : hii... ma prob is dat i just met this guy s on net...n we became friends,,he lives in america..n im in dubai...da prob is dat this guy wants to talk to ma parents...we have also spoken on fone..he is really sweet guy...but da prob scared wat shud we say our parent...dat how we met..n how he knows me...since ma parents are strike they wont go for net love n in love wit this guy...n he also loves me alot....just need sum help...he is comin here in july...before dat his mom wanna talk to ma mom....really need help.....plz help me wat shud i confused..........
From : sana
On : 2005-04-12
Reply : Hey, I was in a similar situation and the relationship ended in disaster where he just left me after me more than one year of emotional abuse and harsh insults over the phone. He said his parents found out and threatened to disown him if he got serious with a white girl (he could also have lied about that cause he was a liar by genetic determination) however, the "my parents wishes are sacred" issue was always between us. I was just too stupid to get the hint and thought he loved me. He never wanted to talk serious stuff and about the future and got really upset when I thought of our relationship as sthg serious, although he'd always tell me he was serious. Anyway, after 1 1/2 years he left me. His parents also didnt like me and they freaking didnt even know me. So i know how you feel. However, let me tell you this. I dont know how your boyfriend is but mine was an asshole a la carte. Marriage issues aside, he was just a shitty person himself and not worth even as a friend. He was emotionally abusive and the way he would always talk about his mother was like he was worshipping a god. I mean he was always "mom this" , "mom that" , "mom awesome" "mom great" etc. Although I dont mind commitment and love to your parents, this just went beyond normal things and I do not evne wanna know what Freud would have said ot this kind of mother-son relationship. Anyway, when his mother would talk to him, it was like he was under a spell (have you seen the Manchuruan Candidate?) and he was very much influenced by his elder brother and his parents, but mom in particular. He didnt have the ability to make his own decisions at all and was consntalty on call ot see what he was being told to do. I mean he actually told me once that his parents are god for him (!) He would even take advice from his 5 year younger soon-to-be sister in law (about whom he by the way said she was really stupid) in India. So in short, my boyfriend was a backbone-lacking, sorry-excuse for a man, disgrace to love, worthless human being. He seriously had as much backbone as a jellyfish. So he was just not able to go against his parents and just stoically accepted what they wanted without fighting or questioning. A total whimp. He just looked like a man. What I am trying to say is that it all depends on your boy-friend. If he is a decent human being and has any backbone and courage and loves you, he will fight for you guys. It is up to him. Parents always play out their best cards and threats initially, but whne thye realize their child is serious, they will give in and understand (unless they are slefish like my ex-boyfriends then all that matters is them and what some cousins second degree think). So it depends on the family (how educated they are, my ex's parents were backwards and uncultured) and how understanding and non-racist they are and it also depedns on your boy-friend and how much he cares and is willing to fight for you guys. if he sets his priorities straight and is not an asshole about it and if his parents are halfway decent and reasonable and not narrowminded and racist then you have very good chances. And I hope you will be happy. Try to get into the Indian culture like learning and reading about it, showing interest in the traditions, music, food, movies....religion everything. Get involved and show you really care. Again, if your boy-friend, unlike mine, is a good person then he will appreciate your commitment to him and so will his family.
From : Carrie
On : 2004-12-05
Reply : Hi, I know it is hard to be disapproved from your lovers family.You have to do smth for them to approve you and love you. Get more information when and where do they go in celebration day such as in temples, you go there all dressed up and pretend to respect their culture in order to convince them that you really love them and their son.Next step you do id that you need someone, a girl friend to help you in this mission. If you see them reading smth, send your friend to crash in them and from the back pick up their book and give it to them. So, getting to see them in their temples where they pray and helping them in the street they will love you and approve you. Trust in me you need a 2nd person to help u.
From : dori
On : 2004-10-07
Reply : U said u huv never met his parents before but still they hate u. U shud get confidence in ur self and met em in a humble ful way may be they start liking u.
From : ur well wisher
On : 2004-09-24
Reply : theres this boy he is my love and we was toget her in till i went to my x best friends house and she told him to break up with me and go out with her but she broke up with him and now going out with another boy and i am in love with myex boy friend and every body is telling me hes still loves me and its all in my head i think about it over and over all i wish i just could have him again what should i do?
From : tammy
On : 2004-09-22
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