Marriage & Beyond
Subject : marriage and beyond
Question : What's better,love marriage or arrange marriage?
Posted by : shreya
Posted on : 2004-04-25
Reply : i would say ignore him back if he reallly loves u or wants to stay with u he will realize there is somthing wrong and he has to fix it , if he doesnt then let him go because he wouldnt be worth it and u shouldn't be coming to him , he should be coming to u
From : Zirel
On : 2005-12-07
Reply : hi, i'm having a bit of problem with my partner. at first we were chatting very romanticaly, but now we don't even have tim e to see or meet each other. we had a fight but we tried to manage and solve things. after this fight we are really strange nad when i go to talk to him he went away!! What should i do? should i go on like this and keep ignoring him as he does or should i do the first step???
From : rukma
On : 2005-08-30
Reply : Hi Shreya, I think love and arrange marriages both has its own advantages. I believe love marriage is better only if you are not hiding your love relations from your parents because they are the best people who you can trust and you should not be dishonest to them and they always makes better decisions for you. So if its love marriage its good as you know that person and his nature from many different aspects, spend lot of time together as friends, know his family as you must have visited them frequently. You should definitely not choose your companion blindly, he should be also compatible with you academically.I think you should chooose your lover with consideration of all different aspects that are important for marriage life with consideratin of your own life style, your own desires. In todays world love should never be blind it should be practical with thought of your wishes in real life.
From : kim
On : 2004-11-27
Reply : Nalayak - you as a scientist and an educated person should somehow have made the deduction that from something like the divorce rate you cannot explain and tell whether the marriage is successfull or not. Have you ever thought that the divorce rate in India is lower than in the West because it is just not a socially accpetable practice? Therefore, simply because ppl dont get actually officially divorced as much in India as in the "west" doesnt mean that their relationships are any more meaningful, their love stronger and thier marriages any better. U talk about couples knowing each other before marriage in the same breath as you promote arranged marriages. That doesnt make sense. How can you call deciding to marry someone you have met for a couple of days or so "knowing someone" or knowing sufficiently ot marry? While in reality all you did was had your mommy and daddy and others makes such an important decision for you. So bascially what you are saying is that simply bec. u will never know anyone until after decades anyway, it is ok and no big deal going ahead and marrying someone at random? That is ridiculous and so self-defeating! Getting yourself into a shitty arrangement cause u will never know ppl anyway. Stupid! Marriage is important, it is sacred, and it should happen berween ppl who are committed to each other and have a common ground that goes beyond astrology, stars, and economic compatiblity (i.e. love). Love is the most important aspect of a marriage, its fundament for if this is missing and the marriage is just based on some arrangement emphasizing economics and "family structure" this diad will ultiamtely fall apart...one way or another. it wont be as strong or strong at all. I agree that family and all are important, but you need to make ur choices and decisions and marriage is an important one. it is your life. Not your mom's or dad's or aunty's. So many ppl (girls) are forced into these arranged wedlocks and have ot sacrifice so much..going beyond duty and commitment to own family. it is ridiculous. just cause thye dont happen ot get divorced casue that would come equal to being a social outkast in the worst case and being viewed as "abnormal" in the best case, doesnt mean thier marriages are successful. So I say shreya go w/ your heart. Dont go in blindly, but in the end, dont let others make such an important decision for you. it is your life and dont base your happiness on some raw statistics and numbers that dont explain or entail anything.
From : P
On : 2004-10-02
Reply : Each has its advantages and disadvantages. As love is not logical, i.e. you do not always do what is right nor do you always insist on it (you overlook and forgive most of the 'bad' habits, then you really have to go with your heart and family situation and be prepared for whatever happens (naseeb). I am a scientist - I atleast rely on statistics in addition to what my heart feels! We are led to believe that love marriage is the best because atleast you know who you are marrying and what he/she is like. Rubbish! It takes over a lifetime to know your partner. We are all so complex. But simply look at the statistics - why are so many love marriages ending in divorce (particularly in the West, and now in India)? If these couples knew each other well before they decided to marry, then surely they should stand by each other through thick and thin! Circumstances may change, but surely the strength to stay together should come from within and from the support of each other. The divorce rate suggests otherwise!
From : Nalayak-Geezer (London)
On : 2004-08-08
Reply : any thing love or arrange, but be genuin with your decision and make it practically.
From : jigi
On : 2004-07-06
Reply : Hi, Shreya i'm dhruv from lancs,uk 25M. In my view love marriage is better but u should not choose u'r companion in blindness and such love marriage must have in front of u'r parents not hiding anyone... that's it; prob solved, choose u'r companion of u'r choice and marry him... dhruv, bbn,lancs,uk...
From : Dhruv
On : 2004-06-07
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