Love & Romance
Subject : Used and Abused
Question : I am not sure what I chould do. I am on anti depressants already. My fiancee-well ex-fiancee to be precise since he is happily married to someone. He met this girl on net within mths married. The thought of him telling me that he love sme while at the same time he was busy chit chatting that other girl, preparing for wedding. isn't it amazing how people can use others without any shame at all. For years, i shared & cared for him. He had toruble paying his bills I helped him clear his debts. And at the end all i get is betrayal. What really makes me upset is he is still writing to me, asking me for financial help. he expects me to forget the way he treated me and accept him & his new bride as my friends? Am i really just a cash machine? I am educated, pretty, and decent. I have tried all my life to follow the right path. What have I done to deserve such treatment? I don't think i can handle all this mental torture anymore. Tell me, what should I do? How do I move on with my life? I am already sufferring from depression. I am tired of being used and abused!
Posted by : Pagal
Posted on : 2004-03-23
Reply : Dump that loser. he is a worthless human being. See it that way, he is like a cancerous tumor and you must cut it off in order to get well. U take anti-depressants on the one hand, but on the other hand you still pick up ur phone and answer his calls. It is like having an open wound and instead of letting it heal you cut it open every night with your nails. Just STOP IT!!! OK?? JUST STOP THIS MADENESS!!! Forget it. You need to heal and recover. If you continue like this, answering his calls, even exchanging one word with him, you are gonna go insane and ruin your life cause here's a newsflash: he is already settled...he is just using you. So forget that worthless piece of shit...
From : Lalita
On : 2004-09-25
Reply : Hi everyone. Thanks for reading and caring to advise/comment. Much obliged. I'm getting back to my normal life. I'm still taking anti-depressants but counselling sessions are done. I'm not sure if it helped but I'm glad I don't have to go for the sessions anymore. My ex fiancee contacted me again and is asking me to help him come to UK. I asked him how can he expect my help after putting me through hell. He replied because I know u would. I'm really angry at myself for letting him take advantage of me in the past and even now he thinks he didn't do much damage (As per him he 've said 'sorry'). I am so angry at myself. I wish i'd chop my head off if only it'd make me feel better. I feel like an idiot. I'm sorry, I just wanted to get rid of my frustration and the only place I'd think of was here. :(
From : Pagal
On : 2004-08-08
Reply : go and find another guy who is worth ur time and attention. u said ur pretty and all that so why bother think of ur x fiance? he is nothing but a pig and a user. lesson well learnd.dont give ur full trust to some1..
From : aleli
On : 2004-06-14
Reply : Pagal, dont do this to yourself. After reading your thoughts all that i can make out is: you dont want to forget your past and want to suffer and torture yourself. look at that guy he must be happy and having fun. Why do you want to cling on to the past. Move on.....forget everything. Fall in love again. Not all men are bastards. And above all dont blame yourself. You are a wonderful, loving and caring person. Just be strong and believe me this is not the end of the world. Dont spoil your health and life on some stupid insignificant man. You can do it girl. Best of luck.
From : Priyanshu
On : 2004-05-27
Reply : Lico...i know what u mean by 'heart died'. Thats how I feel. Worst of all, I am hating each and every male I know incl my friends :(
From : Pagal
On : 2004-05-26
Reply : Dear all, Thank you so much for your comforting words. I have been attending counselling sessions for almost 2 mths now. And I hate to admit that it isn't working for me at all. To be frank- I feel like a loser. Instead of hating that man, I am hating myself. I am writing all this not because I want you to feel sorry to me, I am putting all this in words here because I know no one I know (or knows me) would be able to read this. Most of all, I feel like writing. I wish I could erase my memory because its driving me nuts and sometimes headache drives me mad. Someone said I'd forget in mths, but i know I wont as its almost 5 mths now and I am still feeling miserable.
From : Pagal
On : 2004-05-26
Reply : Hey Rimi, Gal, you need to move is hard....but believe me its possible...and within a few will have the last laugh. This man is worthless....he couldn't even pay his own bills and what on earth are you so depressed about.....he is a total LOSER. Love sonie
From : sonie
On : 2004-05-21
Reply : I was in a marriage for twelve years. We went to counseling for problems and he told me he hadn't loved me for 8 years. At that time my children were 3 and 6. My heart died that day. I became very depressed. I was on several medications because I could not stop crying. I didn't want to work or do anything. It took me four years for me to finally decide that medication only prolonged my depression. After gaining 60 lbs I finally decided, so what if I cry at least I can feel. The medication only made me a zombie and not myself. I have been off medication for 6 months, have lost 40 lbs. (not even trying) and have gotten control of my emotions. Yes, it takes time but I think you have to come to yourself in your own time. Be your own friend and heal yourself, hold yourself, talk to yourself, love yourself.
From : LiCo
On : 2004-05-03
Reply : Thanks Mili and kind advice. I am starting counselling theraphy sessions soon. I hope it'll be helpful.
From : Pagal
On : 2004-04-06
Reply : Ms Pagal, its really important for a person to realize the world around you. The very instant something happens to you, just take some time to think about it. Every time you enter a bad phase in life, inject some confidence in yourself. Methods are innumerous. Since you have realized your problem, never look back. Think positive and get over the problem , since you are the only one who can rectify this. Never say to yourself that "this would take time" . Its too dangerous and harmful. Go ahead and discover new phases of life.
From : Mili
On : 2004-03-27
Reply : Thanks for replying Rimi. He just sent e-messages. I can't go to his house as he lives in different city. I know its over between me and him. Magar it'll take time to move on with my life. the only problem I have is to pull myself together. Just like my GP said- I already know my problem, I just need to work sort the problem.
From : Pagal
On : 2004-03-24
Reply : I dont c a problem here Ms Pagal. This guy is a MCP. He has used and abused u as u say then dump him and move on. Y b depressed. Mayb thats exactly wat he wants. Dont u get it girl.....he is a bastard and thank ur lucky stars that ur life isn't ruined. So just forget about him and the next time he calls u tell him that u dont want to speak with him anymore. If he calls u again then just go to his house and in front of his wife give him one tight slap. Got it. Dont waste ur time and spoil ur health on such insignificant person.
From : Rimi
On : 2004-03-24
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