Marriage & Beyond
Subject : is she the right choice...??
Question : i am getting married in a few weeks . a total arranged marraige now seems to be a burden.cannot backout and neither its easy to love her. she is really not my types.i know i have to marry her but how to ....enjoi life with her ...?? HELP...
Posted by : vineet
Posted on : 2004-01-09
On : 2005-08-28
Reply : Well I know that the moment has passed by now probably however, just for the sake of argument i have to say this Vineet: I absolutely agree with Kareena about thinking a little bit about the issue at hand here and think abt whose life you are living. I know u dont wanna hurt your parents and no matter what arranged marriages in India really just seem very common, however, as someone else here mentioned on the long run it would not be fair to yourself or even to that girl if you get married out of force and not cause you really want to. Family is important I know but in the end the deal here is gonna be between you and that girl. You are going to be the one who has to live w/ her, who has to deal w/ her...not your relatives, not your parents, not her parents...just you. They wont live your life and they sure dont have to live with her. But you do. Plus, it is really your life and you should make such important decisions and not let your family do it. Think about it, this is not an easy thing. This is about who you will spend the rest of your life with. Do you really want to forsake your own happiness cause you fear your parents wrath?? Parents, if they love you, will get over the fact that you married someone else or not married her after a while, but you will later ultimately regret marrying out of duty. Life is short and unique and valuable. Make the best out of it and try to be happy on your terms. At least if you fail ever you can say you failed based on your terms and not cause of someone else's mistakes. What makes you think your parents have some sort of wisdom from the heavens? At some point you need ot make your own deicsions and be your own person and marriage is where it starts. If you cant tell thme now how you feel, you'll never be able to be honest to thme...I mean come on, it is already hard enough these days to try to make a living and get along w/ ppl you know and love, just imagine how hard it must be to have ot live w/ someone or marry someone you dont know. If you have no choice (which I dont believe cause we ALWAYS have a choice if we WANT to)then for God's sake at least get married ot someone you know a bit or like even if not love. Either way, think about the fact that it is your life and no one elses. Whatever your decsion was I wish you all the best. I hope you will be happy. And that you are happy now and all the issues metnioend here are not issues after all...
From : L
On : 2004-09-09
Reply : i've been thru dis situation ma self, and belive me it was hell, u jst av 2 lstn 2 ur parents...deres no way out of marriage in our families....u either get married or u loose ur simple as dat.
From : kanwal
On : 2004-07-13
Reply : c parents neva fink so u hav 2 do da finkin if da gal wants 2 get marreid 2 u marry her coz u nave kno she mite b ur drea,mgal
From : auzma
On : 2004-05-11
Reply : thanx.. kareena you have been a great advisor. atleast you tried to help whole heartedly.... thanx for your concern dear..take care of yourself
From : vineet
On : 2004-05-07
Reply : hi vineet, i understand your situation as it i extremely hard telling yours parent how u reall feel as thay will just start shouting, all i can say is that you can only marry someone for love and love only, thay might not be that good looking but their personality could attract you to them. Getting married is a big step towards life especaially marrying someone you're not in love with but is just doing it to please your parents. Ask yourself this, whos life are you living, your parents or yours. If you do go a head with the marriage i hope it turns out the way you expected it to and that you do fall in love with this girl. I know it hurts especially when you can't even talk to your parents, its always their problems you have to listen to but no one is their to listen to yours. Take care kareena
From : kareena
On : 2004-04-21
Reply : Don't marry someone you do'nt love, you will regret in the end. You will marry for love and not for anything else.
From : Mikee
On : 2004-03-02
Reply : I think you are over-reacting. Have u at least tried to know this girl. Who knows once you get to know her you will fall head over heels in love with her. Give yourself some time. dont go with this mentality that arranged marriage is a burden.
From : Manish
On : 2004-02-19
Reply : Hi Vineet, if u dont love this girl and u think that marrying her will b a burden then dont marry her. Confront ur parents and tell them that u dont want to marry this girl. It will not be wise to ruin ur life as well as this poor girls life. After all its the question of ur entire life and u better take a wise decision.
From : Komal
On : 2004-02-19
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